Starting off my life story series with love and relationships – and as you have probably guessed this post has gone up a day earlier than my usual schedule – to time in with Valentines day.
Between the ages of 15-20 I had a few relationships. My first love was also my first long term relationship and ended up being an on-off affair. In between our ‘on’ periods I would see other people. One of whom I fell in love with. This relationship ended almost as quickly as it began but I’m very grateful for having met him, or I would never have ended up living in Manchester and therefore meeting my now fiancé.
I met Phil in 2007. Having just started a new job in a call centre, I was on the ‘grad’ bay taking calls under the close scrutiny of the trainers. On this particular day, Phil was floor walking when I happened to stick my hand up stuck on a call. We got to talking and realised we had a lot in common.
Fast forward into early 2008, both of our relationships had come to an end. We started hanging out a little more, and quickly moved in together. Yes it was quick. But it was more a convenience thing as we were both renting and couldn’t afford to rent a place on our own. Living with a boy was haaaaaaard! I no longer had just myself to consider – I had to consider him too and that took a little getting used to. Even today, there are things that REALLY annoy me. Like when he ‘forgets’ to separate his socks in the washing machine.
Like all relationships, we have been tested. We have been though various bouts of relationship counselling, primarily to help us communicate better. I would seriously recommend couples therapy to anyone who finds they are arguing more frequently, or just not connecting – it saved our relationship. Finances have often been the root of arguments in times where one or both of us have been out of work or struggling with previous debt issues. We have been through much bereavement together. Physically I have had various operations, body confidence issues, female related issues which has had a negative impact. And yet I think today we are stronger than ever.
I proposed to Phil back in 2008, as a joke. It was a leap year. He said yes, I freaked out and said I was joking and he has never let me live it down since. Engagement had come up in previous conversations but I always said until he had a ring I would say no. In July 2015, at my sisters wedding, he pulled me to one side and asked me to marry him. There was no ring or romantic gesture. It was just typical Phil. But this time I said yes. Loved up and excited we both had to keep quiet. I didn’t want to cast a shadow on my sister’s special day, and so we waited to tell everyone until they had got back from their honeymoon. In this time, we went to buy a ring together. It was nice as I was able to choose something myself that I liked.
Adopting a Cat
In October 2016, we adopted a 5 year old Calico kitty called Pebbles. Phil initially send me the link to her on the RSPCA website, not knowing that my first ever cat was called Pebbles. She was an indoor cat which we wanted as we live in an apartment and I instantly fell in love with her. 3 days later, we brought her home. I knew Phil was a cat person, but I underestimate how much of an effect she would have on him, on us as a couple. It’s like our life now has a purpose – to look after her and make sure she is happy. Phil is absolutely besotted with her. I genuinely think if we separated but left Pebbles with him, he would be ok ha ha!
How most people feel about kids, we feel about Pebbles. A kid for us has always been a bit of a no no. Phil made it clear early on in the relationship that he wasn’t the kid type, and I was ok with that. As we have both got older, and we are now 9 years into the relationship, it has become a ‘someday’ topic. We are not ready yet. There are still a few kinks in the relationship that need sorting, and we both have goals that we want to achieve first (like getting married). Even though I’m 30 now, I am not ready. Maybe when I’m like 35….? Everyone always mentions if we are planning to start a family, and when I say no, I get the ‘oh well you are getting on a bit now, better have them soon’ look. We just laugh about it now. Right now, we have our cat who is our furbaby and that is enough for now.
My best friend
At the end of the day, Phil is my best friend. He is the one I want to come home to everyday, the one who I want to call when things go pear shaped at work. He knows me better than I know myself. Annoyingly, he doesn’t let me get my own way, and challenges me where other people wouldn’t dare to. Yes things get tough at times, but other times they are wonderful and life has a way of balancing these things out. We love each other. Even after 9 years, I love him more now than when we first met.
Do you have a love story to tell? Let me know yours in the comments below.
Bye for now.